Fun Times With The Akatsuki!
by FancyToaster
Summary: A collection of one shots about the Akatsuki and Team Hebi/Taka. oo4 - Team Taka's first mission was to buy more clay for Deidara. It took them two minutes to buy the clay, but three hours to get away from the fangirls who thought they were 'SO EFFING CUTE'
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! Starting a new series of one shots about the Akatsuki and Team Hebi/Taka. In the series, Sasuke, Karin, Suigetsu, and Juugo will be considerably younger than the Akatsuki. Enjoy the cuteness and humor! ~Toaster that be Fancy!**

**disclaimer - Disclaimed.**

_Summary - Kisame is a fish, at least that's what Tobi says. Suigetsu doesn't believe him, so Tobi's going to prove it. _

_Characters: Tobi, Suigetsu, Kisame, and a appearance by Hidan and Deidara._

_Rated: K+ for swearing from Hidan._

Suigetsu stared at Tobi with wide, violet eyes. The man under the mask nodded eagerly at the eight year-old boy. Suigetsu's eyes narrowed at him, and he frowned slightly, his extended tooth poking his bottom lip. "No way," he said, looking at the man in front of him. Tobi simply nodded at the boy, causing Suigetsu to shake his hair violently. "Kisame-senpai is _not _a fish," he concluded, his head held high. The older man laughed at him and ruffling his snow-white hair.

"Kisame-san _is _a fish," Tobi said, throwing his hands in the air. Suigetsu crossed his small arms over his chest and pouting, causing his lone tooth to scrape his lip, which he paid no mind to.

"Explain how," he said, giving the man a skeptical look. _Tobi is a wack doodle,_ the younger male thought, looking at him.

"He has blue-green skin like a fish, right?" he started. Suigetsu nodded, but kept his arms crossed.

"Right."

"And sharp teeth like a shark, right?"

His small glare intensified. "_I _have sharp teeth, Tobi."

"But not like his. And you don't have small eyes like him, right?"

His arms uncrossed themselves and hung at his sides. His glare softened, but remained there. "Right."

"And Kisame-san has gills, Sui. Gills!" Suigetsu's bright eyes went wide. He gasped, but quickly covered his mouth. His Kisame-sempai was a fish! "He's a fish, Sui. But if we tell Itachi-san, he'll send him back to the ocean, and Kisame-san won't like that," Tobi whispered, turn Suigetsu's eyes into saucers.

"Why wouldn't he like the water?"

"He's a _land _fish, Sui!"

_But...but that's impossible! Kisame-sempai would've told me if he was a fish! _he thought, _but he has all the makings of one._ "You still don't believe, Sui?" Tobi asked, looking at the boy who clearly was in his own mind. Suigetsu shook his head slowly, showing that he didn't believe what Tobi was saying, even though it made _perfect _sense. "How about I prove it?"

"How?" he said, looking at the man with interest. His purple eyes sparkled and he smiled brightly at him, showing off his rows of sharp teeth.

"We'll ask somebody!" he said, with a bright tone in his voice. "Duh, Suigetsu!" He grabbed the little boy by the hand sand ran off, looking for someone to talk to about this imperative matter.

* * *

"SEEEMPAIIII!" Tobi yelled through the liar, hoping to find Deidara. "OH SEEMPAIIII! WHERE ARE YOU?!" A small explosion by his foot gave him the answer. He looked over to his left, where Deidara was sculpting a new explosive. An irritated glare was sent his way.

"What do you want, un?" he said, looking at the grown man.

"Hi, Deidara!" Suigetsu said, moving from behind Tobi. The glare turned into a bright smile as Suigetsu ran and gave the blond man a hug. Deidara normally didn't like kids, but Suigetsu was an exception. He was smart, talented, and he knew that his art was better than Sasori's. He was annoying like Karin, or too quiet like Sasuke, or dreadfully unstable like Juugo. This kid was cool.

"Hi, Sui, un," he said, holding the small boy in his lap. "What are you two up too?" he said, his voice laced with sweetness, but had a sour undertone.

"Can you tell him that Kisame is a fish, sempai!" Tobi said, looking at Deidara expectantly. Deidara face plamed and sighed heavily. Removing Suigetsu from his lap, he got up.

"You're an idiot," he said, walking away from the two.

* * *

"Who're we gonna ask now?" Suigetsu said, looking at Tobi with a blank face. Tobi smiled at him, even though he couldn't see it under the mask.

"Hidan! It's against his religion to lie!" he said excitedly. He ran in the direction of Hidan and Kakuzu's room.

"No it isn't," Suigetsu said, but followed Tobi anyway.

"Hiiidaann!" he said, knocking on the heavy door. "I have to ask you something! Something important!"

Hidan opened the door with a tired look on his face. "The fuck do you want, moron?" he greeted, not censoring himself for Suigetsu. "I'm fucking tired and I just had my fucking head sewed back on and it fucking stings like a motherfucker, so make it quick."

"Tell him that Kisame is fish," Tobi said, not the least bit intimidated by Hidan's swearing.

"Fuck you," he said, the door closing in Tobi's face.

Suigetsu looked down at the ground and sighed. "Now I'll never know if Kisame-sempai is a fish or not," he huffed, putting his face in his hands. Tobi ruffled his hair, causing him to look up with sad, drooping eyes.

"I've one more plan," he said, causing Suigetsu to smile once more. "And this'll make sure we know!"

* * *

Suigetsu sat in the bathroom, waiting for Tobi to come in with Kisame. Upon seeing the blue-skinned fish/man, he pushed him into tub, filled to the brim with freezing water. Tobi held his face under and Sui watched as the taller man fought his way back up, panting heavily.

"You're not a fish, sempai!" Suigetsu squealed, hugging the man around his legs.

"Yeah. I'm a person, like you and Sasuke and Tobi and everyone else," he said, out of breath. He glared at Kisame, but hid it from Suigestu. "How about you go spar with Sasuke or Juugo?" he said to Suigetsu, who nodded and ran away.

"Never touch my dango again," Tobi threatened harshly. "I'll turn you into sushi!"


	2. I'm going to kill you one day, Itachi

**Discalimer - Disclaimed.**

_Summary - Sasuke tells Itachi his goal in life. He handles the news rather well._

_Characters: Mainly Sasuke, Itachi. Mentions of Konan, Nagato, Deidara, Orochimaru, Sasori, Kakuzu, Hidan, Zetsu, Kisame, Karin, Suigetsu, Juugo, Tobi, and Mikoto Fugaku are talked about._

_Rated: K_

"I'm going to kill you one day, nii-san," a very young Sasuke said at breakfast one day. He said it with much enthusiasm and very proudly. Twelve pairs of eyes - Konan's, Nagato's, Deidara's, Orochimaru's, Sasori's, Kakuzu's, Hidan's, Zetsu's, Kisame's, Karin's, Suigetsu's, and lastly Juugo's - diverted their way towards the young boy. One pair was hidden by a bright orange mask, constantly reminding Sauske of his best friend, who was probably back in Konoha, still flirting with Sakura and not noticing the shy girl who so clearly liked him. The other pair of eyes belonged to the man that Sauske was talking to.

Instead the man didn't look up from his food, but laughed softly. "Will you, now?" he said, finally sparing his brother a glance. The younger boy nodded eagerly, smiling widely. His ink colored eyes turned cherry red and he glared at his older brother. Itachi turned his sharingan on too, and looked back at Sasuke. "That's a very nice thing to say, Sasuke," he said, mockingly. Sasuke's glare hardened. "Why do you want to kill me?"

"Orochimaru-sama said I have to avenge my parents and get stronger than you," Sasuke said, nonchalantly. Again, twelve pairs of eyes looked over at someone, but instead of Orochimaru looking at Sasuke, Itachi glared at Orochimaru who sat at the head of the table, enjoying toast that was made by his niece, Karin. The fiery red head looked at him with wide eyes, wondering about the man at the table.

"Why would you say something like that, Orochimaru?" the young girl said, sitting beside him. She looked at the man who seemingly shrinked in his seat.

"'Cause it's true. Nii-san killed our kaa-san and tou-san. He has to go apologize to them and dying is the only way to see them again. _I _have to kill him because I'm the only one who can," Sasuke said, looking at Karin, his sharingan still blazing. His voice was high and rather squeaky, but still serious. "And to kill him, I have to get stronger than him, Karin." She nodded and looked back to Itachi who simply smiled at him.

"Whatever makes you happy, Sasuke," the older man said, sipping his orange juice. Kisame looked at the two and smiled at Sasuke.

"Hey, chibi," he said, referring to Sasuke. Sasuke loked at him with wide eyes, the sharingan all but gone. "I bet your already stronger than Itachi," he said, glancing back at Sasuke.

"Don't worry about lunch, Nagato. I got it," Itachi said, looking at the other red head.

"Really Itachi?" he asked, incredulously, which Itachi nodded. He glanced back at Kisame who was talking quietly with his white-haired apprentice. He chuckled softly to himself.

"Everyone likes sushi, right?"

Thud.

"You made Suigetsu faint, nii-san."


	3. Art

**Disclaimer - Disclaimed.**

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_Summary - Sasori tries to teach Karin about 'true' art. Deidara teaches her about his art, causing Itachi's wall to crumble. Itachi teaches her to paint...with blood._

_Rating - K+_

_Characters - Karin, Sasori, Deidara, Itachi._

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Karin sat on the floor of Sasori and Deidara's room, watching Sasori create puppets with intensity. _How does he do that? _she thought as she looked into the eyes of another nameless puppet. _It's so pretty, _she thought, watching him paint blue irises onto the now lifeless thing. Not one to keep her thoughts to herself, the five-year-old looked at the much older man with bright crimson eyes and asked, "Sasori-san, what are you doing?" Her voice was small and squeaky, but held some authority to it. She smoothed her purple shirt and pulled her black shorts up, attempting to make herself look more serious, like her Uncle Nagato. Sasori looked up from his new attractive puppet - this one was meant for distractions, not fighting - and down to the small girl with messy red hair. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch upwards into a small smile before bending down to meet her strong gaze with his brown eyes. He moved her hair from in front of her eyes and closed his.

"I'm making art, Karin-chan," he said, his eyes staring into hers. They widened a fraction of an inch and a large grin broke out onto her face. "Do you want to help me?" he asked, noticing the girl's excitement. She nodded eagerly, smiling so widely, it seemed her face would crack.

"What can I do, Sasori-san?" she asked, looking around the room. He pointed to an arm in the far away corner of the room, and she ran to get it. She was about to hand it to him when the door burst open, revealing a very irritated blond. "Deidara-san," she acknowledged, bowing her head respectfully. He smiled at her, and ruffled her hair. It was then he noticed she had a plastic arm in her hand and Sasori was making another puppet.

"What are you doing, Karin-chan?" he asked, sending a quick glare to Sasori. She smiled brightly at him before handing the arm to Sasori. Sasori smirked at the blond looking at him with a glare that could almost compete with Itachi's.

"I'm making art!" she exclaimed. "I'm helping Sasori-san create a puppet!" Deidara scoffed at the girl, looking over at the incomplete puppet.

"The _abominations _Sasori makes aren't _art," _he said, glaring at the lifeless thing on the floor beside Sasori. Sasori's brown eyes narrowed and his fist clenched tightly. "Art is a bang," he said, smiling at the young girl, who looked confused. Her head was cocked to the left slightly, causing the messy side of her hair to stick to her face, the straight side touching the floor. Her eyes gave a confused expression and she sighed. Deidara smirked at her and said, "Allow me to demonstrate for you."

He extended his hand, revealing a small, clay bird. She looked amazed by the small thing that seemingly appeared out of no where. She studied the bird, noticing all the small details, such as the feathers, the small beak, and the irises the bird seemed to have. She took off her brown glasses and smiled at him. "This is the type of art Sasori makes. It's just a sculpture - nothing more, nothing less. It's boring and incomplete," he said, looking at the small girl.

"The sculpture is perfect just the way it is," Sasori said, glaring at him. Karin whipped her head to the man the voice came from, seeing Sasori behind her. She smiled at him. "It could use paint, but it's fine."

"It's a beautiful bird, Deidara-san," Karin said, smiling at the winged creature. Deidara smiled and placed the bird on Sasori's bed, near a wall.

"Take that damned bird off of my bed, bastard," Sasori said, glaring daggers at Deidara who smirked at him.

"Sasori-san!" Karin scolded. He glared at Deidara before giving Karin an apologetic look. Deidara pointed to the bird, who was swelling up.

"This is the beginning of true art, Karin," Deidara said, looking at the small girl. A loud bang was heard before a small explosion went off, scorching Sasori's sheets. Karin eyes widened at the sight of the flames. They were so bright and so many different colors, they absolutely took her breath away.

"It's beautiful, Deidara-san," she said, locking eyes with him. She looked back at the wall where she saw small crack. Deciding to take a look at it, she walked over. She pressed a finger to it, checking to see how deep it was. The crack seemed to widen and she gulped loudly. _Uh oh, _she thought, seeing the wall crumble in front of her.

Staring at her was a very angry Itachi Uchiha. "What were you doing?" he asked calmly, his mangekyou sharingan spinning. Karin brightly smiled at him, he was always looking out for her. Deidara and Sasori stared at the man in fear. It was known the Itachi wasn't exactly the most forgiving person, and Deidara just blew up his wall.

"Deidara-san and Sasori-san were teaching me art!" she exclaimed, moving closer to the angry man, who helped her over the wreckage. She smiled at him, and he glared at the two men.

"You let him tear down the wall?" he asked Sasori, his voice even. Sasori shrugged and looked at him.

"I'm not responsible for what this moron does," he said, desperately not trying to show fear, pointing to Deidara.

"You're fifteen years older than him."

"..."

"You're fixing this wall," he said, picking up Karin. She smiled and snuggled in his embrace, burying her face in his shoulder. "You," he said, pointing a finger at Deidara, "are going to help us."

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Karin sat in the living room with Deidara and Itachi. She was tracing something on a piece of paper, smiling brightly as she did it. She dipped her brush back into the jar only to find it empty. "Itachi-san, the jar is empty again," she said, motioning to the jar. He smiled at her brightly before ruffling her hair.

"Aa," he said, pressing a kunai into the tongue on Deidara hand. Quickly, the jar filled back up and she smiled at the two. She dipped her brush back into the jar and continued painting.


	4. Fangirls

**Discalimer - Disclaimed.**

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_Summary - Team Taka's first mission was to buy more clay for Deidara. It took them two minutes to buy the clay, but three hours to get away from the fangirl s who thought they were 'SO EFFING CUTE!'_

_Rating - K_

_Characters - Sasuke, Juugo, Suigetsu, Karin. Mentions of Sakura Oc's _

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"Tell me again why Deidara can't buy his own stinking paint!" Suigetsu huffed, walking in between Juugo and Karin. The red head and the Akatsuki leader's neice glared softly at him through brown glasses and sighed loudly. "We're practically going grocery shopping for him!" he said, taking a sip from his water, then latching the cup back onto his belt. Sasuke smiled softly at his teammate, he reminded him of a certain blond chuunin back when they were genin, doing simple missions.

_"Because_ Suigetsu, Deidara is a widely known S-class criminal. He can't just go out in public. Someone's bound to see him and then there could be a bunch of stuff happening and we'll have to move again," Karin said, her voice squeaky. Suigetsu rolled his eyes and the red-head and sighed. "And I hate moving to another base every seven weeks."

"But still. Why do _we _have to get it?" he whined, sitting down on a nearby rock. They'd been walking for fifteen minutes, and Suigetsu _had _to take breaks or he'd get tired and they'd have to carry him around in a bucket. One of the few bad sides to being a Hozuki. Juugo pulled him off of the rock and onto his back, smiling at the second youngest teammate. He mumbled a thanks that was buried into his back, making the orange-haired boy smile wider.

"It's _our _mission," Karin said, looking down. "We're kids, people won't expect _us _to be Akatsuki. We're _cute," _she said, her voice firm.

"You're not cute," Suigetsu said, with a small smirk. Sasuke was teaching him how to victory smirk, and he was slowly getting the hang of it. She glared at him once again and her hands clenched into fist.

"I _am _cute," she said. She quickly bought her gaze up and looked at the oldest member of the group - and therefor captain. "Right, Sasuke?"

"Whatever, Karin. It's our first mission together, Suigetsu, it'd make it go by a lot faster if you'd stop complaining," the eight-year-old captain said. Suigestu shook his white hair and sighed heavily. "Besides, I can see a town not far ahead." Suigetsu hopped off Juugo's back and squinted, seeing a tall building. A smile lit up his face, showing off his sharp teeth.

"ERMIGERD! YOU'RE EFFING SO CUTE!" A girl screamed from in front of them. In a second, Sasuke was envopled in a bone-crushing hug, being smothered by the older girls chest. Sasuke groaned loudly, showing his immediate dislike. He didn't it when girls his age swarmed him, he defintely didn't like it when somoen twice as old squeezed him like he was some toy.

He didn't know that one girl could bring back one hundred.

**.**

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"LOOK AT THIS ONE REI-CHAN! HE'S CUTER THAN THE LAST!" one girl with blonde hair and blue eyes screamed, holding Suigetsu by the hand, dragging the small boy away. He sent a glance to Juugo, silently calling for help, but he was being carried away by some other blond, this one with brown eyes.

"SASUKE HELP ME!" Suigetsu screamed, fighting the urge not to cry. She was holong on too tightly for him to turn into a puddle and he couldn't break free if her grasp. Looking for his captain, he found him being cradled to a brunnette's rather large chest, Karin glaring at the girl - or trying to - it seemed hard to glare when someone is spinning you around wildly.

Sasuke was thrusted into the girl holding Suigetsu's hand arm's. He glared at her through hooded eyes. He looked down at his teammate and sighed heavily. Suigetsu was crying. A _shinobi. Crying. Because of teenage girls. _It was then he knew that he had to step up and take control of the situation at hand. They could take five teenage girls who thought they were cute, right? "EREMGEE, MIKACHIN-CHAN! HE _IS _CUTER THAN THE WHITE-EYED BOY FROM YESTERDAY!" the girl in front of him screamed. "WHAT ARE YOU, LITTLE BOY?!" she shouted in his face, as if he couldn't hear.

_I was wrong. Horribly wrong, _he thought, as he was thrusted into a redhead's arms, beside Karin.

"We're shinobi!" Sasuke said weakly, feeling dizzy. "And me and my team were on a mission!" The girls put them down and looked, clearly amused.

"What mission are you on?" the blond with blue eyes asked Sasuke. He smirked at her. _I have this under control, _he thought. Karin scrambled to his side, clinging to his arm for dear life. Suigetsu joined her, hiding behind him. Juugo walked hurridly over to him, standing on the other side.

Suigetsu leaned close to his captains ear. "Sasuke...I'm scared," he whispered. Sasuke turned to him and smiled softly.

"It's okay, Suigetsu. Me and Juugo can protect you and Karin," he said, smiling at the two. The brunnette fangirl sighed dreamily before screaming loudly.

"ERMIGAWD! REI-CHAN THEY EVEN HAVE CUTE NAMES! I SO WANT ONE!" The other girls giggled, and to most it would angelic. To them, it was the scariest thing they've ever heard. Seeing their panicked faces, the blonde elbowed the brunnete.

"Tsubaki! You're scaring them!" she reprimanded. Juugo looked at her with a grateful face. "Now what was your mission?" she asked again.

"To get more clay," Karin said, her voice still weak. "Our friend needs it." The girls awe'd and the blond nodded softly.

"We can take you to the pottery shop. They have tons of clay there," the blond with blue eyes said, looking at Sasuke, determining him the leader. He nodded at her polietly, affirming that he wanted them to show his team the way. The leader of the girls was obviously the blonde with blue eyes, Mikachin-chan. She looked and Sasuke and smiled slightly, revealing a large gap between her front two teeth. Karin backed behind Sasuke, where Suigetsu was, and tightly held the white-haired boy's hand. Mikachin-chan shook her head slighty at her. "We don't want to hurt you...we just want to hold your hands. Is that alright, Sasuke-kun?" she asked, looking at the coal-eyed leader.

Sasuke turned around to face his teammates. He whispered softly, "Do you guys wanna hold their hands?" Karin turned a shade of blue and slumped behind Suigetsu, who was currently looking over the girls. Juugo just nodded eagerly, a small smile breaking out onto his face.

"They said they weren't gonna hurt us and the redhead head has soft hands!" he exclaimed excitedly. Sasuke glanced back the girl, who giggled softly and back to his teammates. Suigetsu looked apprehensive but smiled.

"I trust what you think is best, Cap'n," he said, offering a small smile to Sasuke, who smiled back. Karin looked worried, though. She nervously checked out the older girls, her hands trembling. Slowly, she raised them up, and a peaceful look came across her face.

"They have low chakra," she said softly. "We can hold their hands."

With that, Sasuke turned and grabbed the blond's hand. She smiled brightly and squealed, but firmly gripped his. Turning around, he saw Karin apprehensively grab the brunette's hand, making the girl softly smile. The black haired girl grabbed on to Suigetsu's right hand, while the brown-eyed blond held his left. The young boy smiled at the two girl, his sharp teeth making them laugh. Juugo was being carried by the redhead, who was currently smelling him.

_I _so _handled that, _Sasuke thought, smiling at the blond, who smiled back.

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"Thank you, again, Mikachin-san, Tsubaki-san, Rei-san, Matsuri-san, and Hana-san," Karin said, bowing repectfully, her hands holfing a bucket of clay. Without warning, Suigetsu hugged all of them, who eagerly hugged him back.

He pulled away, sniffling. "I'll miss you guys," he said, smiling. Tsubaki smiled and latched a cup onto his belt. He bowed repectfully and smiled brightly at her.

"I refilled it for you, Sui." Juugo held on to Hana for an extra minute before scurring off to the rest of his group. He waved wildly, causing the girl to smile widely. She teared up. a bit before wiping her eyes. Sasuke looked at the girls and smiled softly.

"Thank you all," he said, looking at them. They smiled at him brightly. The girls turned to leave when Mikachin turned and ran back to Sasuke.

Quickly, she picked up the small boy and bought her lips to her ears. She smiled softly at him before whispering, "Sakura-chan's looking all over Konohagakure for you." This bought a smile to Sasuke's small face.

"Tell her that I'll come back...one day."


End file.
